Holiday Wishes - from the Jungles of Wiscompton

Dear Reetsyburger Readers,

If I had the wherewithal and a DeLorean DMC12 time traveler, each one of you would receive something very special for the holidays from my friend Kaptain Kubly at the Swiss Colony Catalog - my most favorite catalog in the whole wide world.

If I had my way, I'd travel back in time to 1978, and present each and every one of you with your very own savagely predatory Pet Gouda to love and cherish. While you sat near your holiday tree bedecked with googly eyes, you'd lovingly devour your mellow, creamy pet. And I? I would brim over with glee as I sat drinking my brandy old fashioned in the vast and snowy jungles of Wiscompton.

Deep in the Jungles of Wisconsin lurks the fierce and terrible “Wild Gouda”, fleet of foot and savagely predatory! With the ruthless instincts of a cunning wild beast, only Kaptain Kubly our “great white hunter” could hope to track and capture him. NOW . . . after months of training and obedience school, we have a Pet Gouda for YOU! The same glowing, waxy red coat, but underneath lies the most mellow, creamy personality you can imagine. This mild-mannered, lovable pet, comes with his own specially designed crate. Everyone will enjoy a Pet Gouda.

Unabashedly Yours,

[where: 55406]

I *heart* my AeroGarden® 3 Pod

For my birthday, back in October, gerg hooked this gal up with a SWEET AeroGarden® 3 Pod.

At half the size of the AeroGarden Classic, the AeroGarden 3 is perfect for kitchens that are tight on counter space. It's great as a “living flower bouquet” on a dresser or desk, or if you're cooking for just one or two people. The new Advanced Growing System achieves up to 30% greater growth than the AeroGarden Classic. You can grow fresh herbs, vegetables, salad greens and flowers with the “3”, just like the Classic.

My AeroGarden® 3 Pod came with the English Garden flower kit, and I've also got some vegetables that I can plant after the flowers are done. I started with the flower kit in October because I thought it would be nice to have flowers growing indoors in the middle of winter.

We now have beautiful pink blooms, and I couldn't be happier with how easy and effective this little machine is. Fill it with water about once per week, add a bizarre "nutrient tablet" when the machine tells you to, and watch it go. My AeroGarden® 3 was customized with googly eyes by gerg, which makes it even awesomer.

Eventually, I decided to take advantage of the powerful growing light by placing some of my other house plants near the AeroGarden® 3 Pod. They have benefited tremendously from the spillover light.

Day 1

Day 21

Day 25

Day 37

Day 61 - Blossom Explosion!!!!

[where: 55406]

Walking on Sunshine

To whom it may concern:

Today I'm walking on sunshine.

It doesn't matter that I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled this afternoon because this morning, this message showed up in my inbox:


Just a brief note to tell you that your final paper was one of the best I've read since teaching in this program.

Thank you for such a fine effort.

Professor Maher

I totally got props for my FOINE effort!


[where: 55406]

Fresh Breath for Sale

My poetry book is done.

It's called Fresh Breath.

It's now available on at

I'd be glad to lick, bite, or karate chop your copy if you buy one.

Read what Aaron Landry has to say about my book by clicking here.

[where: 55406]

The Flu, 2008 Style

Last year's flu was a wreck. I wasn't prepared. I fell behind with work. The house was a disaster.

This year, I'm one step ahead. Somehow I drove myself to work this morning and collected a bunch of stuff I need so I can work from home.

Of course, at this point, I'm so uncomfortable, I can barely type this nonsense, let alone write something meaningful for work.

At least I have a Christmas tree to brighten the room, and I have this bag of pretzels.

I have a hunch this year's flu is gonna be a wreck too. I wonder if booze would help....

[where: 55406]