Bouncy? Yes.
All over the place? Yes.
Pocket-sized? No, so maybe the metaphor doesn't totally work.
There sure are a lot of reasons for me to feel cheery lately....
I got this new pink motorcycle helmet with sparkles. gerg's hoarding it, but I'm gonna steal it back from him. And Mexico is just about 2 weeks from here. I'll be sunbathing with tequila in my guts, remembering my misery caused by winter gnawing at my fingers and toes for four months. Fun music and new friends to jam with. And even some new spring dresses!
And enough reasons for me to feel blue....
The job hunt in MPLS is sukking ass...dozens of leads, but only one interview. Missing gerg almost constantly. Totally overloaded with coursework. I feel like everything is half done. Everything is started, and nothing is near completion.
I'm not satisfied. Almost everything is ALMOST where I want it to be, and more than anything, I just want to be there. I want to be done with school. I want to have that kickass job in MPLS. I want to take the next step with gerg. I want warm weather.
It's maddening to bounce to the point where you almost reach it only to be sukked back down by reality's gravity.
I'm ready to break on through, never to come back down.
In Search of a Longer Wick
These days it's an almost constant rountine for me to plan out my days at least a week ahead of time.
No complaints, but I've got a lot on my plate to prioritize. And every responsibility that I've accepted, I've done so with enthusiasm and a bit of apprehension. Some think I should scale down...that I've got too much going. I make time (somehow) for all of it.
What I've got going:
Fulltime job at in University Relations at UWO, with recent promotion (sNICE)
Graduate school (2 classes)
Senior Editor, Wisconsin Review (2 issues annually)
Vice President, American Association of University Women
Awxum Relationship, albeit long-distance
Freelance/Consulting (PR stuff)
Writing (poetry and blog)
Family and Friends - (showers, weddings, babies, housewarmings, projects)
A Current Job search in Minneapolis
My Household (cleaning, cooking, gardening, paying bills, laundry)
Fun Stuff - Sunday night Jazz, visits to my MPLS, dinner out, salon visits, dancing, etc.
Now, I didn't come to this blog to bitch, and as I tried to convey, I embrace these responsibilities, (except maybe paying bills and doing laundry). So I ask, what should I chop out of the equation? I'm building foundations for my life, career, and family. I see all of these responsibilities as chunks of that foundation. I could use fewer pieces, or crappier pieces, I suppose, if I was clamoring for my future to be lesser or crappier.
I want to sukk my life bone dry. I want to appreciate my efforts now and later.
I guess people expect that friends should be available routinely, and family should attend all family events, and colleagues should spend time together outside of work, and couples should see each other more than twice a month. Also, some time should be available for new opportunities. And all of this makes sense, but how are we supposed to do it?
Which joy should I amputate?
Somehow I'm managing, and most people are supportive. They take me when they can get me, enjoy the time we have together, and accept that I'm busy. But I certainly detect resentment at times, and I don't get the big rewards that come with being fully committed and focused on one project. Good thing, I guess...who's got time to dust all of those trophies?
No complaints, but I've got a lot on my plate to prioritize. And every responsibility that I've accepted, I've done so with enthusiasm and a bit of apprehension. Some think I should scale down...that I've got too much going. I make time (somehow) for all of it.
What I've got going:
Fulltime job at in University Relations at UWO, with recent promotion (sNICE)
Graduate school (2 classes)
Senior Editor, Wisconsin Review (2 issues annually)
Vice President, American Association of University Women
Awxum Relationship, albeit long-distance
Freelance/Consulting (PR stuff)
Writing (poetry and blog)
Family and Friends - (showers, weddings, babies, housewarmings, projects)
A Current Job search in Minneapolis
My Household (cleaning, cooking, gardening, paying bills, laundry)
Fun Stuff - Sunday night Jazz, visits to my MPLS, dinner out, salon visits, dancing, etc.
Now, I didn't come to this blog to bitch, and as I tried to convey, I embrace these responsibilities, (except maybe paying bills and doing laundry). So I ask, what should I chop out of the equation? I'm building foundations for my life, career, and family. I see all of these responsibilities as chunks of that foundation. I could use fewer pieces, or crappier pieces, I suppose, if I was clamoring for my future to be lesser or crappier.
I want to sukk my life bone dry. I want to appreciate my efforts now and later.
I guess people expect that friends should be available routinely, and family should attend all family events, and colleagues should spend time together outside of work, and couples should see each other more than twice a month. Also, some time should be available for new opportunities. And all of this makes sense, but how are we supposed to do it?
Which joy should I amputate?
Somehow I'm managing, and most people are supportive. They take me when they can get me, enjoy the time we have together, and accept that I'm busy. But I certainly detect resentment at times, and I don't get the big rewards that come with being fully committed and focused on one project. Good thing, I guess...who's got time to dust all of those trophies?
She leaves me notes...
Grace, my assistant, is true blue. Completely loyal. Devoted. And fun to be around. She left today for one week. A true romantic, she left me individual notes for each day with some kind of uplifting quote or joke. that's Grace --------------------------->
Grace knows my man is far away. She knows, despite my busy life, cheerful smiles and silliness, that I struggle with this long distance thing at times. So she leaves me notes. And she calls me on nights when I'm out to make sure I'm behaving. And she goes out on "dates" with me. She gives me hugs (I've read that women are more successful if they have meaningful physical contact 8 times per day. His arms ain't 300 miles long, so I ain't gettin' hugged that often.).
And this is something that I've learned about romantic relationships throughout these months: when it's real, your peeps rally. They gather around that fire. They fuel you. They shelter you. They enjoy your warmth. They want to toast marshmallows on you... (?!)
I never doubt his love, but sometimes I doubt my patience. And so when reservations and doubt rear up on their hind legs and bite my "break up" alarm, my peeps disengage it. They take a fractured me and seal me up with loving wax. And, of course, he seals their deal with his big time smiles and right words.
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